Published on Mon 02 April 2007 08: 41

Published on Mon 02 April 2007 08: 41

(Click here to see Steve in his full glory.)
"Gentlemen, if you want to write whatever you want to write, you can write it because that is all I am going to say. Thank you"

I dare say they will write what they want to write Steve. Have you not read a newspaper in the past 30-odd years? They tend not to support the England manager very much. They hounded Bobby Robson out of the job, got Hoddle the sack and provided the sting that got your predecessor the sack. Antagonising them isn't the best idea you've had. Mind you, it's a better idea than your favourite one - i.e. crowbarring two identical players into a midfield together, shutting your eyes and hoping for the best. (Sorry, that's unfair. It wasn't your idea, it was Sven's. You've simply copied it as you haven't had the backbone to change it.)

It's coming to something when your tactics are frowned upon by Graham Taylor. A man who put the opposition under pressure by belting the ball out for a throw-in, which meant they would then be under the pump because they had one less man on the pitch. Good teams tend to want the ball, Graham. You can't really score without it.

Is it too much to ask that you actually think up a plan on how to deal with a packed defence, Steve? Evidently it is, as judging by the evidence, all that you do on the training ground is practice your bodypopping whilst fantasising about eating the ball.

Book your holidays for summer 2008 now - there'll be nothing to see here.