| Frank Rijkaard | For launching an amazingly stringy greenie into Rudi Völler''s pube like mullet |
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| Bill Werbeniuk | A flawed but thoroughly decent snooker player from Canada who would regularly down eight pints before a match, followed by a pint every frame. Holding the cue by the right end would be impressive enough after that lot, but he remained in the world''s top-16 for eight years. Think Freddie Flintoff scoring an Ashes ton straight AFTER his famous all-nighter.
Claimed he needed the booze to stop his hands shaking when he played, and even deducted his bar bill against income tax. He put on so much weight he once split his trousers on live telly while reaching for a long pot.
Eventually forced by the authorities to choose between snooker and the drink, he promptly turned his back on the professional game for good. Died of heart failure in 2003 while living on benefits, aged 56. |
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| Maradona | That great the yanks love his music! |
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| Terry Hurlock | The antithesis of today's wankers that stroll about for 90-minutes modelling the latest £5000 per stud football boots. A proper footballer; a proper bloke; a proper legend; definitely a proper Sacred Cow.
Terry's gonna getcha! |
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| David Beckham | Once upon a time, we all fucking liked him because he did THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bz5A8oGlgDQ
93rd minute, free kick to England... cmon Becks, you can do it.......... GET IN THERE YOU FUCKING BEAUTY.
Which sadly (5-1 away in Germany aside) is the closest we''re ever likely to get in experiencing footballing euphoria on a par with actually bloody winning something. |
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| Shane Warne | Simply a genius. Right up there with the greatest sportsmen of all time, despite over a decade of humiliating English cricket.
You'll be missed, you fat Aussie bastard. |
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| Jason Lee | For having a pineapple on his head. |
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| Eric Cantona again | I almost forgot about him flying at that Palace fan. Brilliant. |
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| Eric Cantona | If the 60''s were Bestie''s/Pele''s, the 70''s were Cruyff''s and the 80''s were Maradonna''s then the 90''s belonged to Eric Cantona.
Anyone who disagrees gets a Kuntz Corner entry against them and a slap oops upside the head. |
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| Roy Keane | Like an angrier version of Brad Pitt's character in Snatch for his whole career. A legend for his performances for United, but who can forget his dark side?
The tunnel bust-up where he left Vieira on the verge of shitting himself before they'd even kicked off, the Alf Inge Haaland tackle, elbowing the plasticine-faced cock-socket Jason McAteer, standing up to Mick McCarthy, stamping on all and sundry and generally being a spiteful bastard week in, week out for 15+ years. |
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