| Christiano Ronaldo | Probably belongs in the corner for being a spotty, preening, diving cunt with possibly the most fatuous "I just can't help being so great" goal celebration ever; but fucking hell can he play. |
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| Joe Calzaghe | For successfully defending his title since Jesus was a lad, for quietly getting on with the job without all the razzmatazz bullshit but mainly for beating Lewis Hamilton to Sports Personality of the Year - thank fuck. |
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| Amir Khan | Just keeps knocking them out. |
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| Roman Abramovich | For completely fucking Chelsea up. Need I say more? |
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| The Scotland football team | Beat the French twice in a year - enough said! |
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| David Adekola | Gap toothed 'Nigerian international', who single-handedly raised the spirits of basement division dwelling Bury fans with hat-tricks, overhead kicks and being exposed as not being a Nigerian international after all. |
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| Celtic Football Club | Rod Fanni AND Danny Shittu! Does Quim have a son? |
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| Bill Nicholson | The greatest football manager never to be knighted. Single-handedly made Tottenham fantastic for over a decade, introduced Glenn Hoddle to the world, took no shit, talked no bollocks and lived to be about 475.
Oh yeah, one other thing too - pretty much invented 'push and run' football. Matt Busby my arse! |
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| Geraint Williams | Who you say? This man has taken Colchester United (again, you say 'Who?') to 10th in the Championship without spending a fucking penny!
With a ground that isn't much bigger than your garden shed!
You sir, are a legend! Keep it up. |
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| Paul Scholes | For bearing the weight of being SO ginger on his slight shoulders, kicking anything else in midfield apart from the ref (and even then only because he missed) and still being the best midfield player in the Prem if not Europe last season. Lampard/Gerrard/Hargreaves et al, watch and learn, watch and learn. |
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