| No matter how useless they were for your team, your old strikers will always find a rich vein of form when they play against you. |
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| If you proclaim yourself to be the special one, and that turns out to mean you are arrogant and crumble under *actual* pressure, you will indeed get treated like shit. |
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| When you first start rugby at a private school the games master will tell you all to bring vaseline
(its to go on your knees to stop grass burns from the hard september ground apparently) |
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| Professional footballers ALWAYS take it "one game at a time"........................."ya know" |
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| In moments of sporting triumph, Scots, Welsh and Northern Irish sportsmen and women may be referred to as "British", however no-one is certain as this moment of sporting triumph has yet to happen. Ever
As such English sportsmen and women have to be referred to as British to make up for you deep fried whining cunts.
Bestie was quite good though. Was he ever called British? |
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| professional footballers, advertise the fact that you have very little linguistic skills, diction, imagination or insight by repeating "ya know" whilst racking your brain to come up with a tired, overused, hackneyed and obvious answer to the interviewers question |
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| Alex Fergusons GCPS (gum chew per second) is directly related to the level of his teams performance. A picture of the miserable, red faced twat could be transmitted in the corner of the screen on MUTV during a game for proof. |
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| Boxers. When you are getting clattered all over the ring and your face resembles raw hamburger, you are still legally obliged to throw your hands up in the air and protest when the referee stops the fight. It helps if you give the impression that you were ''just about to stage your whirlwind comeback'' |
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| You may well have your leg hanging on by a sinew or broken at an oscene angle however in local football the "physio" (geezer from pub too fat to play) will recommend you "run it off for 5 minutes, son" before allowing you to be subbed. |
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| Mark Lawrenson:- Stop using "by the way" and "the other thing as well is" as the book-ends to your sentences.
Oh and your actual scoreline predictions on the BBC''s website lacks any kind of logical thought.
2-1, 1-1, 3-2...how the fuck can you guess that kind of shit? You''re just wasting everybody''s time.
Oh and sit up straight on Football Focus. |
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