| Joggers | If you need to be there that quickly then just drive. You muesli-eating cunts. |
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| José Mourinho | If I had as much money as this smarmy shit I'd be winning titles too...in everything, bloody chorizo eating punk bitch. Maybe I'm a little sour because I'm an Arsenal fan. |
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| Michael Platini | For wanting to lick everyones anus and bollocks that derives from Poland. You stupid little cunt. What's the point of Poland and the U-fucking-kraine hosting a tournament? He wants to include countries like Poland more in European football - fair enough - but please don't think that anytime soon Poland will suddenly become a cash-rich country and will be winning the Champions League! Us losing a league entry into the Champions League is such a fucking joke you silly little French, frog-eating fuck-wit cunt. |
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| Stevie G | For having a low hairline, a permanently confused facial expression and a downs-faced clown of a wife. Liverpool fans also get a nomination for worshipping this cunt, even though he almost joins Chelsea at the end of every season. |
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| Rio Ferdinand | For blasting the ball into his own fans.
Ungrateful cunt. |
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| The England supporters' brass band | No-one wants to hear the fucking theme to The Great Escape played over and over again.
Unless you are Jeremy Clarkson.
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| Bring Back Beckham Campaigners | You fucking idiots. How fucking stupid are you? Do you not remember when this sluggish cunt was playing 'quarterback' for England? You cunts were asking for him to be dropped. Now Maclaren's fucking up, you're all asking for this cunt to come and fuck the team up again. Fuck off Beckham and play 'soccer' you cunt.
Plus you look like Andy Johnson with slightly more hair. |
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| QPR | Trust me. I was there Saturday. No desire, no ambition, no guile, no skill, no balls, no passion, no pride. I paid £400 to go trek all the way to darkest Sunderland and endure the derision of 40,000 northern monkeys so I could watch that bunch of "I'm on £1000 a week and don't give a shit" CUNTS! |
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| Andy Gray | For his shite commentary during ALL sky sports football games. Slags off everyone for not scoring near-impossible goals. What did this cunt ever do in his career? I'd like to stick those computers up his arse. Hindsight-dependent cunt.
"Shoulda done better"
"What a waste"
"What a chance"
What a cunt. |
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| Italian/Spanish police | Baton-happy helmet-wearing cunts, what happened to you as a child that turned you into such an irrational fuckwit? |
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