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 | | Published on Tue 30 January 2007 11: 04 |
 | | Published on Tue 30 January 2007 11: 04 |
Eagle-eyed readers may remember that a few weeks ago a group of Nottingham Forest players were the subject of a police inspection after a boozy do in their adopted city got a bit boisterous. In other words a group of over-paid third division players rattling around in empty pubs on January 2 nd didn't have enough solarium assistants to ogle, broke a few glasses and called a couple of members of bar staff nasty names. Of course if they'd been celebrating a hard fought victory over a Premiership high-flyer (which is unlikely following them spending the first 45 minutes at Stamford Bridge staring at their hosts' shiny hair), you'd understand a bit of youthful exuberance. Seemingly losing 5-0 to Oldham is also sufficient.
So far, so provincial news story!
Step forward then Neil Harris.
Now, we're not sure if he eats a bit too much bran or just simply wasn't able to use the toilets cos the rest of his under-achieving companions were already occupying the cubicles in Nottingham's Muse bar. What we do know is that the fat-arsed striker for some reason decided to drop his slacks and lay a turd in the middle of the bar floor!
Harris is therefore the only person with one bollock, other than Hitler, than you can officially not feel sorry for. Which is why two days later he was off loaded to Millwall! Fucking twat!
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 | | Published on Fri 26 January 2007 09: 31 |
You've been merked, son!
*snaps fingers whilst using other hand to count through weekly wages*
We always knew he was a natural sweeper...and had no idea his first cap was at such a young age. Most worryingly of all though, HE LOOKS EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME TODAY, ONLY
5 FEET TALLER.
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 | | Published on Thu 25 January 2007 11: 05 |
Take it to the bridge.
Or, to be more accurate, Highbury.
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 | | Published on Wed 24 January 2007 09: 49 |
 | | Published on Wed 24 January 2007 09: 49 |
During Sunday’s Heineken Cup game, and in response to ‘repeated provocation’
from Ulster fans, Toulouse lock Trevor Brennan climbed over a barrier, walked to the EIGHTH ROW UP and started laying into a hapless supporter to the tune of half a dozen punches. Cantona’s got cock all on this fella.
The fan who was assaulted had originally thought that Trev was going to shake hands with him. Unfortunately, Trev used his hands to shake him instead. (Do you see?!!!!???11!!!!?!)
If he’d wanted to stop the big beardy bastard from giving him a jawline like Billie Piper, he should have just shat in a pint of Guinness and got him to down it in one whilst being wanked off by a teammate singing a song about twelve Cornish virgins or whatever it is rugby players do in order to ‘bond’.
It’s not gay though.
So what prompted such a reaction? Racial abuse (Trevor Poppadom)? Doubts about his parentage? Sectarian hatred? None of the above. The fan in question had informed Trevor that the pub he owns is rubbish. Cue the bringing of the pain.
What next? Disgruntled scousers informing Robbie Fowler that the house they’re renting from him has rank wallpaper in the front room? Seeing as it’s far easier to call him a fat, coked-up shitcunt, I can’t really see this new style of abuse catching on.
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Neil Warnock has been giving it all that again. Obviously upset that Jose’s been the
only manager in the news this week, he’s gone and got himself sent from the dugout
for over-vigorously demonstrating how fast he likes to accelerate his tractor.
Cynics claim he was instructing his team to stick the boot in after substitute Keith
Gillespie was sent off for having his forearm head-butted by Stephen Hunt.
This seems a bit far-fetched, I mean, it’s not as if he’s sent subs on with
instructions to ‘mix it up a bit’ before, is it? Is it?
Well…yes:
Neil, take a leaf out of wee Gordon’s book. There’s no need to antagonise people
with threats of physical violence when you could adopt the tactics of a
six year-old instead:
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 | | Published on Thu 18 January 2007 01: 37 |
 | | Published on Thu 18 January 2007 01: 37 |
It may have escaped your attention but Teddy Sheringham's missus is currently appearing in Channel 4's hit show 'Love thy neighbour'. Or Big Brother (as its advertised in the Radio Times).
Anyway, cos her and her battered boot cohorts have been pulling Shilpa's pigtails the show's sponsors Carphone Warehouse have pulled the plug on their involvement (much like their promises of free broadband).
Teddy, as we know, tends to go out with buxom, orange women with very little brains which doesn't make him a racist or a someone who would upset a telecommincations company. To prove this, here is a photo of Teddy in a giant phone with two differently coloured people. ONE OF THEM IS EVEN FRENCH!!!!111!!!!!!!!
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