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 | | Published on Thu 25 January 2007 11: 05 |
Take it to the bridge.
Or, to be more accurate, Highbury.
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 | | Published on Wed 24 January 2007 09: 49 |
 | | Published on Wed 24 January 2007 09: 49 |
During Sunday’s Heineken Cup game, and in response to ‘repeated provocation’
from Ulster fans, Toulouse lock Trevor Brennan climbed over a barrier, walked to the EIGHTH ROW UP and started laying into a hapless supporter to the tune of half a dozen punches. Cantona’s got cock all on this fella.
The fan who was assaulted had originally thought that Trev was going to shake hands with him. Unfortunately, Trev used his hands to shake him instead. (Do you see?!!!!???11!!!!?!)
If he’d wanted to stop the big beardy bastard from giving him a jawline like Billie Piper, he should have just shat in a pint of Guinness and got him to down it in one whilst being wanked off by a teammate singing a song about twelve Cornish virgins or whatever it is rugby players do in order to ‘bond’.
It’s not gay though.
So what prompted such a reaction? Racial abuse (Trevor Poppadom)? Doubts about his parentage? Sectarian hatred? None of the above. The fan in question had informed Trevor that the pub he owns is rubbish. Cue the bringing of the pain.
What next? Disgruntled scousers informing Robbie Fowler that the house they’re renting from him has rank wallpaper in the front room? Seeing as it’s far easier to call him a fat, coked-up shitcunt, I can’t really see this new style of abuse catching on.
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Neil Warnock has been giving it all that again. Obviously upset that Jose’s been the
only manager in the news this week, he’s gone and got himself sent from the dugout
for over-vigorously demonstrating how fast he likes to accelerate his tractor.
Cynics claim he was instructing his team to stick the boot in after substitute Keith
Gillespie was sent off for having his forearm head-butted by Stephen Hunt.
This seems a bit far-fetched, I mean, it’s not as if he’s sent subs on with
instructions to ‘mix it up a bit’ before, is it? Is it?
Well…yes:
Neil, take a leaf out of wee Gordon’s book. There’s no need to antagonise people
with threats of physical violence when you could adopt the tactics of a
six year-old instead:
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 | | Published on Thu 18 January 2007 01: 37 |
 | | Published on Thu 18 January 2007 01: 37 |
It may have escaped your attention but Teddy Sheringham's missus is currently appearing in Channel 4's hit show 'Love thy neighbour'. Or Big Brother (as its advertised in the Radio Times).
Anyway, cos her and her battered boot cohorts have been pulling Shilpa's pigtails the show's sponsors Carphone Warehouse have pulled the plug on their involvement (much like their promises of free broadband).
Teddy, as we know, tends to go out with buxom, orange women with very little brains which doesn't make him a racist or a someone who would upset a telecommincations company. To prove this, here is a photo of Teddy in a giant phone with two differently coloured people. ONE OF THEM IS EVEN FRENCH!!!!111!!!!!!!!
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 | | Published on Wed 17 January 2007 11: 44 |
That's Mad Bastard Everytime.
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 | | Published on Wed 17 January 2007 07: 07 |
 | | Published on Wed 17 January 2007 07: 07 |
STRIKE ONE
You can lose the moronic grin for a start sonny!
STRIKE TWO
You're signing for the world's biggest baseball team. This is your press conference. IT'S NOT FUCKING CHILDREN IN NEED IN THE IT DEPARTMENT!
STRIKE THREE
In the time i've written this you've probably earned my yearly salary. Cunt!
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